In today’s world, well-mannered qualities and features seemed to be going out of style as more and more men forget etiquettes and polite behaviour. Being a well-mannered man is not only about opening doors and pulling out chairs for the ladies. It goes beyond the traditional gentlemanly qualities.
Who is a polite well-mannered man?
A polite well-mannered man in today’s date is the one that respects people around them, respects boundaries, and is polite and courteous. In simple words, a well-mannered man will thank the waiter for serving food and, he is down to earth. Examples of some socially accepted well-mannered men would include; Roger Federer, an inspiring tennis legend who is the personification of calm, cool, and collected. A good player that has an equal dedication to his family. Ex-US President Barack Obama is an image of a well-mannered man. Obama broke down many social barriers, is loved and admired by many people for his down-to-earth behavior and his respect for his wife, Michelle Obama.
How does a well-mannered man fit in the context of 21st-century masculinity?
With time the features and qualities of a well-mannered man have developed and expanded. Historically the role of men was physically and financially focused. A well-mannered man in the olden ages only had the role of providing for the family, but things have changed, and so has the meaning of masculinity over time. Most men believe that men are falling behind as the women’s movement moves ahead with active involvement and support.
Although how does a well-mannered man fit in the context of 21st-century masculinity? A well-mannered man or a gentleman isn’t afraid of women taking the lead. The male ego doesn’t get affected when his significant other earns more than him. In such circumstances, a gentleman is expected to support and be happy for his significant other.
Society has become more supportive and acceptable of men choosing careers that were once traditionally considered feminine. More men are taking paternity leaves, becoming stay-at-home dads, or taking up jobs of nurses and teachers. Moreover, the 21st-century man distributes the household chores evenly.
To continue the discussion further, let us look at 11 ways in which man is considered a “Well-Mannered Man.”
A well-mannered man knows the power of appearance. Personal style is the way to go to stand out in the crowd and get noticed. The way one chooses to groom, dress, and carry oneself can make or break success since what people see is what people expect. Putting efforts in grooming and styling shows that you take care of yourself. Moreover, a well-dressed man means respecting oneself and the environment.
Practicing basic table manners
In the earlier days, people used to dine at long tables, packed to maximum with no place to rest elbows on the table. Moreover, resting elbows on the dining table would be seen as invading the neighbour’s space, and it also made you look eager to eat. In the modern days, discipline during dining and basic table manners won’t go unnoticed. As a well-mannered man, you should keep your elbows off the table, chew with your mouth closed and let the lady order first. Being kind and respectful to the waiter also counts. Make sure that your phone is on silent and doesn’t distract you while in the company of others.
Bad hygiene is considered one’s own lack of self-respect, diligence, and discipline. If you can’t take care of yourself, how will you take care of others? Bad hygiene is also considered disrespectful for others. The fact that you won’t put time into grooming yourself when you are supposed to be in the company of others is offensive and makes others feel unimportant. A well-mannered man will make it a habit to be well-cleaned, well-groomed, and presentable at all times. Even if it’s only a trip to the nearest grocery store, you never know who you might run into.
Know the difference between humble bragging and celebrating gracefully
Oversharing and over-bragging are not uncommon among people of all genders. Even 100 years ago, it was immodest to brag about your financial success. Although in today’s time it has almost become normal to share one’s success, online or offline, you must know better than to not give in to this modern trend. Moreover, do not attempt to downplay your success or self-deprecate in a casual way as bait to receive both praise and sympathy. If you do have something to be excited and happy about and you feel the need to share it with others, do so in the sincerest way.
Make sure that you listen to others speak as well, do not cut people off when they are talking. It can be construed as disrespect and offense. Only brag or share with people who are close and care about you, and make it short and sweet. Do not compete with people when sharing news of success, and do not put others down.
Know when to apologize. A well-mannered man knows when to keep his ego aside and apologize sincerely for any wrongdoing or offense. Apologies go only so far when it is genuine and sincere. Own up your mistakes and make sure that you try and work towards them. Acknowledging one’s faults and asking forgiveness for them can move mountains.
Fight vocally, not physically
A well-mannered man will use wit and intelligence to resolve conflict and fights. Not all fights need to be physical unless you are in imminent danger and need to protect yourself or the people around you. Pay importance to honour and dignity and prefer reacting over proacting. Know when to take a breath, take a step back, laugh in the face of violence, and simply walk away. Not all fights are worth it and life is too short for drama.
Be Punctual. Always
In the earlier days, the term “Fashionably late” didn’t exist. In the olden days, arriving late was considered offensive. If a man showed up 15 minutes late, he was looked down upon or thought less off. If you invite someone or were invited by someone, always honor the decided time. In the modern days, arriving late indicates that you do not value the other person’s time. Be punctual and show up on time, it shows respect, and people will consider you reliable and dependable in the long run.
Confidence in a man is considered attractive, and people consider you as a natural leader. By being confident, a well-mannered man knows what he brings to the table. He is clear in what he wants and expects. Seek out competence and not perfection. A confident body language and commanding personal presence will set you out among others, and people will naturally follow you. Stand upright and walk with a purpose. Make sure that avoid hiding hands in your pockets and extend a firm handshake.
Commit to your promises
Keep your promises. If you have promised to help someone out, then make sure that you keep it. A big part of being polite and well-mannered is respecting people’s time and meaning what you say. Don’t make promises that you cannot keep, it is considered weak, and people will consider you unreliable. By sticking to your words, you are not only establishing trust with people around you but are also building trust within yourself.
Replenish what you borrow
A well-mannered man understands the responsibility of borrowing things from others. As a true modern gentleman, make sure that whenever you borrow something from people, you return it exactly as it was when borrowed. If you borrow a friend’s vehicle, return the vehicle with as much gas it had when you took it or more! If you are starving and eat up all your roommate’s food, then make a trip down to the nearest grocery store to make sure that your roommate has food too. The key is not being selfish, providing for others when you take from them.
Chivalry is the first quality that comes to our mind when we think about the attributes of a well-mannered man. When out with women or other people, hold the door open. Hold out the chair for the lady to sit first. If you are traveling in public transport, let the women enter before you. This shows, that you care about their comfort. Chivalry is the most powerful yet considerate feature that a well-mannered man must possess.
You’ll be surprised to know that these qualities may also help you climb the social and financial ladder. The above-mentioned attributes set you out from other men out there, make you look reliable and dependable. Being polite and well-mannered shows that you care about others and respect them, and respect goes a long way in the workplace or in a social gathering. Moreover, these qualities also make a good leader, people may trust you with responsibilities and feel comfortable and confident when following your lead.
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